Momentos Bro Code IX

(...más)

121) Even if he's never skied before, a Bro doesn't trifle with the bunny slope. Corollary – If a Bro experiences a catastrophic wipeout, he can always blame his bindings or the conditions.

122) A Bro is always psyched. Always.

123) Two Bros shall maintain at least a three-foot radius between them while dancing on the same floor, even when reenacting the knife fight from "Beat It" which, I guess, two Bros shouldn't do anyway, or at least not very often.

124) If a Bro should shoot an air ball, strike out while playing softball, or throw a gutter ball while Browling, he is required to make some sort of excuse for himself.

125) If a Bro is driving ahead of another Bro in a Bro Train, he is required to attempt to lose him in traffic as a funny joke.

126) In a scenario where two or more Bros are watching entertainment of the adult variety, one Bro is forbidden from intentionally or unintentionally touching another Bro in ANY capacity. This may include but is not limited to: the high five, the fist bump or the congratulatory gluteal pat. Winking is also kind of a no-no.

127) A Bro will always help another Bro reconstruct the events from the previous night, unless those events entail hooking up with an ugly chick or the Bro repeatedly saying "I love you, man" to all his Bros.

128) A Bro never wears two articles of clothing at the same time that bear the same school name, vacation destination or sports team. Even in a laundry emergency, its preferred that a Bro go out half naked rather than violate this code...half naked from the waist up, naturally.

129) If a Bro lends another Bro a DVD, video game, or piece of lawn machinery, he shall not expect to ever get it back, unless his Bro happens to die and bequeath it back to him.

130) If a Bro learns another Bro has been in a traffic accident, he must first ask what type of car he collided with and whether it got totaled before asking if his Bro is okay.

131) While a Bro is not expected to know exactly how to change a tire, he is required to at least drag out the jack and stare at the flat for a while. If he needs to consult the car's ownership manual to locate the jack, he shall do so from inside the car, where he is not visible to passersby and where he can discreetly call a tow truck, after which it is recommended that he hide the jack by the side of the road so he'll have a legitimate excuse when the tow truck arrives.

132) If a Bro decides to let all of his Bros down and get married, he is required to invite them to the wedding, even if this directly violates the wishes of his fiancée and results in a "no sex" penalty or whatever lame domestic punishment couples might employ.

133) A Bro only claims a fart after first accusing at least one other Bro. Exception – Pull my finger.

134) A Bro is entitled to use a woman as his wingman.

135) If a scenario arises in which a Bro has promised two of his Bros permanent shotgun, one of the following shall determine the copilot: (a) foot race to the car, (b) silent auction or in the case of a road trip exceeding 450 miles, (c) a no-holds-barred cage match to the death.