Momentos Bro Code X

(...más)

136) When interrogated by a girlfriend about a bachelor party, a Bro shall offer nothing more than a disinterested "It was okay". A Bro can never bring a camera back from a bachelor party. The only memento a Bro is allowed to bring back is something that can be destroyed by penicillin.

137) When hosting, a Bro orders enough pizza for all his Bros.

138) A real Bro doesn't laugh when a guy gets hit in the groin. Exception: Unless he doesn't know the guy.

139) Regardless of veracity, a Bro never admits familiarity with a Broadway show or musical, despite the fact that, yes, "Broadway" begins with "Bro".

140) A Bro reserves the right to simply walk away during the first five minutes of a date. (Lemon Law).

141) A Bro can only get a manicure if (a) he's trying to sleep with the hot Asian woman performing the manicure, or (b) its been longer than a month since his last manicure. Its called the Bro Code, not the slob Code.

142) A Bro shall seek no revenge if he passes out around his Bros and wakes up to find marker all over his face.

143) When executing a high five a Bro is forbidden from intertwining fingers or grasping his Bro's hand.

144) It is unacceptable for two Bros to share a hotel bed without first exhausting all couch, cot, and pillows-on-floor combinations. If it's still unavoidable, they shall prevent any incidental spoonage by arm wresting to determine who sleeps under the covers. Once decided each Bro shall don as many lower layers as possible before silently fist bumping the other good night.

145) A Bro is never offended if another Bro fails to return a phone call, text or email in a timely fashion.

146) A Bro refrains from using too much detail when relating sexual exploits to his Bros. Providing graphic detail unconsciously forces your Bros to picture you naked and there is no coming back from that.

147) If a Bro sees another Bro get into a fight, he immediately has his Bro's back. Exception: If his Bro has picked a fight with a scary looking guy. If this is the third fight (or more) his Bro has gotten into that week. If the Bro has a note from a physician excusing him from having anybody's back.

148) A Bro doesn't listen to chick music...in front of other Bros. When alone, a Bro may listen to, say, a Sarah McLachlan album or two, but only to gain valuable insights into the female psyches, not because he finds her melodies tragically haunting yet curiously uplifting at the same time.

149) A Bro pretends to understand and enjoy cigars.

150) No sex with you Bro's ex. It is never ever permissible for a Bro to sleep with his Bro’s ex. Violating this code is worse than killing a Bro.


Bueno, estos son todos los artículos.
Ha sido... como diría yo...

...LEGENDARIO!

Momentos cinemáticos VI

Con esta sexta entrega de cinemáticas e intros de videojuegos dejaré de poneros todos los jueves cinemáticas. Así de memoria creo que ya os he puesto los que últimamente mas me han llamado la atención y, desde ahora, pondré las nuevas cinemáticas que me vaya encontrando que crean que se merecen ser posteadas (es decir, que sean tan buenas que no me den pereza ponerlas aquí).

Para terminar dejé cinemáticas del juego Starcraft 2. Como bien sabréis o deberíais saber, el juego es de Blizzard (para mi, no sólo es una de las 3 mejores compañías de videojuegos del mundo, en cuanto a cinemáticas es la mejor). Por lo que, como bien sabréis, sentaos cómodamente, no olvidéis darle al HD y disfrutad.

(...más)

Momentos Bro Code IX

(...más)

121) Even if he's never skied before, a Bro doesn't trifle with the bunny slope. Corollary – If a Bro experiences a catastrophic wipeout, he can always blame his bindings or the conditions.

122) A Bro is always psyched. Always.

123) Two Bros shall maintain at least a three-foot radius between them while dancing on the same floor, even when reenacting the knife fight from "Beat It" which, I guess, two Bros shouldn't do anyway, or at least not very often.

124) If a Bro should shoot an air ball, strike out while playing softball, or throw a gutter ball while Browling, he is required to make some sort of excuse for himself.

125) If a Bro is driving ahead of another Bro in a Bro Train, he is required to attempt to lose him in traffic as a funny joke.

126) In a scenario where two or more Bros are watching entertainment of the adult variety, one Bro is forbidden from intentionally or unintentionally touching another Bro in ANY capacity. This may include but is not limited to: the high five, the fist bump or the congratulatory gluteal pat. Winking is also kind of a no-no.

127) A Bro will always help another Bro reconstruct the events from the previous night, unless those events entail hooking up with an ugly chick or the Bro repeatedly saying "I love you, man" to all his Bros.

128) A Bro never wears two articles of clothing at the same time that bear the same school name, vacation destination or sports team. Even in a laundry emergency, its preferred that a Bro go out half naked rather than violate this code...half naked from the waist up, naturally.

129) If a Bro lends another Bro a DVD, video game, or piece of lawn machinery, he shall not expect to ever get it back, unless his Bro happens to die and bequeath it back to him.

130) If a Bro learns another Bro has been in a traffic accident, he must first ask what type of car he collided with and whether it got totaled before asking if his Bro is okay.

131) While a Bro is not expected to know exactly how to change a tire, he is required to at least drag out the jack and stare at the flat for a while. If he needs to consult the car's ownership manual to locate the jack, he shall do so from inside the car, where he is not visible to passersby and where he can discreetly call a tow truck, after which it is recommended that he hide the jack by the side of the road so he'll have a legitimate excuse when the tow truck arrives.

132) If a Bro decides to let all of his Bros down and get married, he is required to invite them to the wedding, even if this directly violates the wishes of his fiancée and results in a "no sex" penalty or whatever lame domestic punishment couples might employ.

133) A Bro only claims a fart after first accusing at least one other Bro. Exception – Pull my finger.

134) A Bro is entitled to use a woman as his wingman.

135) If a scenario arises in which a Bro has promised two of his Bros permanent shotgun, one of the following shall determine the copilot: (a) foot race to the car, (b) silent auction or in the case of a road trip exceeding 450 miles, (c) a no-holds-barred cage match to the death.

Momentos cinemáticos V

Hoy volvemos con cinemáticas de juegos con ambientación fantástico-medieval... y es que ya sabéis que la cabra tira mucho al monte xD

Sentaos comodos, no olvideis pulsar el HQ y disfrutad.

(...más)

Momentos Bro Code VIII

(...más)

106) Given an option on quantity when ordering a beer with his Bros, a Bro always selects the largest size available or shall never hear the end of it that night.

107) A Bro never leaves another Bro hanging.

108) If a Bro forgets a guy's name he may call him "brah","dude", or "man" but never "Bro".

109) When Bros attend a sporting event and see themselves on the JumboTron, they shall purse their lips and flex their biceps while informing the crowd that their team is number one, despite any objective rankings to the contrary.

110) If a Bro is hitting it off with a chick, his Bro shall do anything within his means to ensure the desired outcome.

111) If a Bro discovers another Bro has forgotten to sign out of his email the Bro will sign out for him, but only after first sending a few angry emails to random contacts and then deleting all sent messages.

112) A Bro doesn't sing along to music in a bar. Exception: A Bro may participate in karaoke. Exception to exception: No chick songs.

113) A Bro abides by the accepted age-difference formula when pursuing a young chick
Acceptable age difference formula: Chick's age = (Guy's age divided by 2) + 7

114) If a Bro must crash on his Bro's couch for an extended period of time, he shall offer to split the cost of toilet paper and the cable bill if said period exceeds two weeks. If he stays longer than a month, he shall offer to contribute some rent. If he stays longer than two months, he shall steam clean the couch or have it incinerated, whichever is more applicable.

115) A "clothing optional" beach doesn't really mean "clothing optional" for Bros.

116) A Bro shall not kill another Bro or that Bros’ chances to score with a chick.

117) A Bro never willingly relinquishes possession of a remote control. If another Bro desires a channel change, he may verbally request one or engage in the fools errand of getting up to manually change the channel. Corollary – It is fully expected that a Bro will try anything to gain possession of the remote upto and including an attempt to flatulate his Bro out of the room.

118) When a Bro is with his Bros, he is not a vegetarian.

119) When three Bros must share the backseat of a car, it is unacceptable for any Bro to put his arm around another Bro to increase space. Likewise, it is unacceptable for two Bros to share a motorcycle, unless said motorcycle is equipped with a sidecar...a Brotorcycle.

120) A Bro always calls another Bro by his last name.

Momentos cinemáticos IV

Este jueves voy a poneros 3 cinemáticas de juegos con temáticas variadas.

Disfrutarlos y HD...

(...más)

Momentos ¿religiosos?

A mis manos a llegado: "Como saber si tu hijo es gótico (según la Iglesia)". Son estos E-mails que llegan de vez en cuando, pero este no he podido dejarlo pasar y me he visto obligado a ponerlo por aquí y compartirlo con todos vosotros.

Os aviso, no tiene desperdicio.
(...más)

Si tu hijo es gótico, traelo de vuelta gracias al Señor
Debajo están listadas las señales de alerta que indican si tu hijo
puede haberse alejado del Señor.
Los góticos son una oscura y a menudo peligrosa cultura a la que los
adolescentes se sienten orgullos de pertenecer. La cultura gótica
lleva a las jóvenes y susceptibles mentes a un mundo imaginario de
mal, oscuridad, y violencia. Por favor, busque inmediatamente ayuda a
través de consejeros, oraciones, y guias para padres para librar a tu
hijo de las tentaciones de Satán en caso de que se puedan aplicar
cinco o mas de las siguientes características a tu hijo.

- Suele llevar ropa negra
- Lleva camisetas de bandas de rock
- Lleva mucho maquillaje, pintalabios, o esmalte de uñas negro
- Lleva desgastada joyería de plata o símbolos entre los que se
incluyen: cruces invertidas, pentagramas, pentáculos, ankhs, y otros
símbolos de adoración satánica.
- Muestra interés por piercings y tatuajes
-Escucha música gótica u otra música de géneros antisociales (Marilyn
Manson afirma ser el anti-Cristo y hablar públicamente contra el
Señor. Elimine ese tipo de discos INMEDIATAMENTE)
- Se junta con gente que viste, actúa o habla de forma excentrica
- Muestra poco interés por otras actividades mas habituales como: La
Biblia, la oración, la iglesia, o los deportes
- Muestra mucho interés por la muerte, los vampiros, la magia, lo
oculto, la brujería, y cualquier cosa relacionada con Satán.
- Toma drogas.
- Bebe alcohol.
- Tiene tendencias suicidas o depresivas.
- Se corta quema o daña mediante cualquier otro método de
auto-mutilación (es un ritual satánico que usa el daño propio para
eliminar la luz del Señor y su amor. Busque inmediatamente atención
sanitaria en su hospital psiquiatrico mas cercano)
- Se queja de que se aburre.
- Duerme demasiado, o demasiado poco.
- Permanece despierto tiempo excesivo durante la noche
- No le gusta la luz solar ni ningún tipo de luz (esto tiene que ver
con los vampiros que promueven la idea de que Su Luz, no sirve de
nada)
- Pide excesiva intimidad.
- Pasa mucho tiempo solo.
- Pide tiempo solo y silencio (esto es para que su hijo pueda hablar
con espíritus malignos mediante meditacion)
- Insiste en pasar tiempo con sus amigos sin compañía de un adulto.
- No tolera las figures de autoridad como profesores, sacerdotes,
monjas o ancianos entre otros...
- Se porta mal en clase.
- Se porta mal en casa.
- Come demasiado, o muy poco.
- Toma alimentos relacionados con el ambiente gótico, como los cereales
"Conde Dracula".
- Bebe sangre o manifiesta la intención de hacerlo (Los vampiros creen
que así es como se llega a Satán. Este acto es muy peligroso y debe
detenerse de inmediato)
- Ve televisión por cable u otros medios corruptos (pregunte en su
parroquia los programas adecuados para su hijo)
- Juega a videojuegos que contienen mucha violencia o son de rol.
- Usa Internet en exceso y frecuentemente saca tiempo para usar el ordenador.
- Hace símbolos satánicos y/o agita la cabeza violentamente escuchando música
- Baila de forma provocativa o sexual
- Expresa interés por el sexo
- Se masturba
- Es homosexual o bisexual
- Sigue cultos religiosos peligrosos. Entre estos se incluyen:
satanismo, científico, filosófico, pagano, wicca hinduismo y budismo
- Lleva pins, pegatinas, o algo que contiene frases del tipo “Soy
gótico, estoy muerto” “Soy la aflicción”, “Soy un gótico”
- Afirma ser gótico

Si cinco o mas de estos puntos se pueden aplicar a su hijo, por favor
actue de inmediato. La cultura gótica es peligrosa y Satán reside en
ella. Si estos problemas persisten, lleve a su hijo a su centro
psiquiatrico local.

Iglesia Católica de Santa María.

¿Qué queréis que os diga? Yo me junto con gente que viste, actúa o habla de forma excentrica, duermo poco, permanezco despierto tiempo excesivo durante la noche, insisto en pasar tiempo con sus amigos sin compañía de un adulto, yo diría que como mucho... ya van cinco y no he puesto ni la del sexo ni la de los videojuegos... SOY GÓTICO!!! (Afirmarlo... otro punto más!)

Momentos musicales

Genial, verdad? Está claro que la música esta dentro de todos.

Momentos Bro Code VII

(...más)

91) If a group of Bros suspect that their Bro is trying to give himself a nickname, they shall rally to call him by an adjacent yet more demeaning nickname.

92) A Bro keeps his booty calls at a safe distance.

93) Bros don't speak French to each other.

94) If a Bro is in the bathroom and runs out of toilet paper, another Bro may toss him a new roll, but at no point may their hands touch or the door open more than 30 degrees from fully closed.

95) A Bro shall alert another Bro to the presence of a chesty woman regardless of whether or not he knows the Bro. Such alerts may not be administered verbally. (The shoes tap, The eye redirect, The swift shin kick *D cups and up only, please*)

96) Bros shall go camping once a year, or at least attempt to start a fire.

97) Where a Bro went to college is going to kick his Bro's college's ass all over the field this weekend.

98) A Bro never lies to his Bros about the hotness of chicks at a given social venue or event.

99) A Bro never asks for directions when lost. Exception: A Bro may as for directions for a hot chick who seems to know the area. A Bro may ask for directions from a hot chick even if she also appears lost. A Bro may ask for directions from a hot chick even if he himself is not lost at all.

100) When pulling up to a stoplight, a Bro lowers his window so that all might enjoy his music selection. Corollary: If there happens to be a hot chick driving the car next to the Bro, the Bro shall pull his sunglasses down to get a better look. If he's not wearing his sunglasses, he will first put them on, then pull them down to get a better look.

101) If a Bro asks another Bro to keep a secret, he shall take that secret to his grave and beyond if the Bro discovers there is indeed life after death. This is what makes them Bros, not chicks.

102) A Bro shall take great care in selecting and training his wingman.

103) A Bro never wears socks with sandals. He commits to one cohesive footgear plan and sticks with it.

104) The mom of a Bro is always off-limits. But the stepmom of a Bro is fair game if she initiates and /or is wearing at least one article of leopard print clothing...provided she looks good in it...but not if she smokes menthol cigarettes.

105) If a Bro is not invited to another Bro's wedding, he doesn't make a big deal out of it, even if, let's face it, he was kind of responsible for setting up the couple and had already picked out the perfect wedding gift and everything. It’s cool. No big whoop.

Momentos cinemáticos III

Vamos con la tercera entrega. Hoy seguimos con el mundo de Warhammer... pero esta vez vamos a avanzar 40000 años hasta Warhammer 40K.

Sólo comentar que el primer vídeo tiene mezcla de cinemática y de motor del juego.

...enjoy and don't forget to put the HD

(...más)

Momentos R2D2

La verdad, es que es imposible entender a este querido robot. Pero ahora podemos encontrar en la red una página web donde podremos traducir a su lenguaje cualquier palabra o frase que queramos.

Es una tontería... pero seguro que todos entrareis y pondréis, entre otras cosas, vuestros nombres.

Aquí os dejo el enlace.