Momentos Bro Code VI

(...más)

76) If a Bro is on the phone with a chick while in front of his Bros and, for whatever reason, desires to say "I love you" he shall first excuse himself from the room or employ a subsonic barry white-esque tone.

77) Bros don't cuddle.

78) A Bro shall never rack jack his wingman. Rack jack is to steal your wingman’s chick. To commemorate and solidify the unbreakable bond between the Bro and his wingman, it is recommended that before going out, each face the other, place his left hand on the Bro code, raise his right hand, and recite the wingman pledge.

79) At a wedding, Bros shall reluctantly trudge out for the garter toss and feign interest for the benefit of the chicks present. Whichever Bro gets stuck with the garter shall light-heartedly pretend he's not mortified at the thought of being the next one to drop before scurrying to the bar for a very stiff drink and/or shots.

80) A bro shall make every effort to aid another Bro in riding the tricycle (engaging in a threesome), short of completing the tricycle himself. The total age of all the three should be less than 83.

81) A Bro leaves the toilet seat up for his Bros.

82) If two Bros get into a heated argument over something and one says something out of line, the other shall not expect him to take it back or apologize to make amends. That's inhuman.

83) A Bro shall, at all costs, honor the Platinum Rule: Never, ever, ever, ever " love" thy neighbor. In particular, a Bro shall never mix it up romantically with a co-worker. Exceptions – Coworker is an 8 or better, you are superior to the coworker, coworker dresses a little slutty, company recently sued for sexual harassment, someone makes a bet that you can’t, you are switching floors soon, you and coworker get stuck in elevator, coworker soon to be fired, coworker hits on you, coworker going through divorce, coworker not offended when you accidently email provocative self pictures to office.

84) Bro shall stop whatever he's doing and watch Die Hard if it's on TV. Corollary – Also the Shawshank Redemption, Top Gun, first half of Full Metal Jacket.

85) If a Bro buys a new car, he is required to pop the hood when showing it off to his Bros. Corollary – His Bros are required to whistle, even if they don’t know what they are whistling at.

86) When a Bro meets a chick he shall endeavor to find out where she fits on the Hot/Crazy Scale before pursuing her.

87) A Bro never questions another Bro's stated golf score, maximum bench press, or height. He can however, ask the Bro to prove it, traditionally in the form of a wager.

88) If a Bro, for whatever reason must drive another Bro's car, he shall not adjust the preprogrammed radio stations, the mirrors, or the seat position, even if this last requirement results in the Bro trying to drive the vehicle as a giant praying mantis would89) A Bro shall always say yes in support of a Bro.

90) A Bro shows up at another Bro's party with at least one more unit of alcohol than he plans to drink. So if a Bro plans on chugging a six pack, he shall bring a six pack plus at least one can of beer. If the party sucks and/or there are too many dudes, the Bro is entitled to leave with his alcohol, though etiquette dictates he should wait until nobody is looking.